Growing up in church we constantly referred to ourselves as a family. I suppose there is a lot of truth to that. Just like in any type of family there is going to be some dysfunction. As imperfect humans we bring it with us. There's no shame in having dysfunction. The shame comes in that we won't even admit to it, much less try to fix it. Read the following story about the fictional Jones family and see if you can draw any parallels to the overwhelming percentage of our church families.
Everyone took their hiding places in preparation to surprise Samuel Jones for his 45th birthday. All his family and . . . . well, just his family was there for the party. The Jones family was a very exclusive bunch both by their own choice and the choice of anyone who ever had to be around them.
A couple of minutes later Samuel walked down the steps from his bedroom upstairs in his parents home. The whole family waited until he got to the foot of the steps and yelled "Surprise!". It worked. Samuel was most definitely surprised. So surprised in fact that Samuel peed in his diaper.
"Thank you", Samuel exclaimed, "Hey Mom, can you please change my diaper?"
"Sure honey", Mama Jones replied, "Just go get me the diaper and the wipes."
While Samuel was getting his diaper changed all of his siblings patiently waited in line to have theirs changed too.
"OK kids, your all over 30 years old now. You know where your diapers are, you need to go get me a fresh diaper if you want to be changed. One day a long time from now I'll potty train each of you. But your still way too young."
After all the diapers were changed Samuel excitedly asked Mama what flavor his birthday cake puree was this year.
"I know chocolate and peanut butter is your favorite so I baked a chocolate cake and put peanut butter icing on it before I pureed it for you." Mama proudly told him
"Mama do you think maybe I could try a real piece of cake this year? I'd like to try something solid." Samuel asked with great trepidation.
"Heavens no Samuel. Your not big enough for that yet." Mama scolded.
Elizabeth looked at Mama with pleading eyes and asked, "Mama am I old enough to try some of the birthday cake puree this year."
"No sweetheart, Mama will let you know when you are ready. Your only 31 years old. Mama has a nice bottle of milk warming for you on the stove."
Jonathan, the oldest of the Jones children spoke up next. "Mama, I've been thinking about moving out and living life on my own."
Daddy Jones spoke up this time. Daddy's voice carried an ominous tone as he said, "Jonathan, you can never move out. You have to be here. You will never be mature enough for that. Don't you get it yet? You would never be able to make it without our guidance. What would you do if we weren't here to tell you how to believe and want to think. Do you realize that you would become evil and wind up eternally miserable."
"Time for bed kids. All of you get up to your rooms and get ready. Mama will be up to tuck you in a few minutes."
END
What an outrageous little story, right? Definitely dysfunctional. The thing is this analogy is fairly accurate as it pertains to our churches. The dysfunction is happily accepted by both the leadership and the congregation.
Leadership is not truly interested in making mature disciples most of the time. They want their congregants to remain dependent upon them for the 'nourishment' they provide. Unfortunately, most of the time that nourishment never becomes anything solid. We continue to receive the spiritual equivalent of milk and baby food our whole lives.
The congregation is content to stay Christian toddlers having their spiritual Mama and Daddy tell them what to think, how to believe, and how to live. Takes all the responsibility off their shoulders.
What do you think?
September 30, 2009 7:45 PM
I agree that most congregations are content to keep their congregants as spiritual babes and congregants want to stay as spiritual babes. It's the fault of the church AND the fault of the congregants.
September 30, 2009 8:12 PM
Absolutely right tishrei. It saddens me to realize that I was content for 30+ years to think I was a good Christian by being part of a Sunday morning country club.
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