Heretic In Gods' Service

It Is Finished

2010-01-06T16:44:00.000-06:00

Calling it quits. I have some things going on in my life right now which leaves blogging just about the last thing on my mind most of the time. These things have also made me question everything I though I knew about God.

Sign of Miscommunication

2009-12-13T16:01:00.001-06:00

* It's been awhile since I posted here. Not because I haven't wanted to, but because I haven't had time. Hope you will keep checking because once life slows down I will update much more regularly. In the meantime I do have a short post here. *

I must admit to having a fascination with the slogans and catch phrases that I see on church signs. Mostly because I find it amusing and a little sad to realize the disparity between what outsiders think when they read these signs compared to what the churches think they are saying.

Take a sign I passed today for instance. It read "This Church Is A Hospital For Sinners". Don't misunderstand me. I know what the intent is here. I know what they are trying to say. I realize their motivations are sincere.

The thing is you have to look at this from the perspective of those you are trying to reach. Allow me to look at this statement starting from the word 'sinners'. What is that we Christians are trying not to be? Sinners. What is that we Christians try to avoid? Sin. In other words we look down on sin. We think it's a bad thing to be a sinner. Now don't misunderstand me. I'm not advocating sin or being a sinner. But the people outside our churches aren't stupid. They know this too. We just called them something we think is bad.

Next let's look at the word hospital. What is a hospital? It's a place you go when there is something wrong with you. Here again we have another way that this sign tells people there is something wrong with them. A hospital is a place you go to get something fixed.

So, what have we told the non-Christian that drives by and reads our sign? We have just told them that not only do we think there is something wrong with them, but it is the one thing we find the least acceptable.

Do you think that makes them want to come in and see what the church is about? Of course not. Most people that drive by don't see themselves as sinners. They don't see themselves as needing to be fixed. We have insulted them.

To end I have a suggestion. Instead of putting little supposedly cute sayings and slogans on our church signs hoping to pull people into our churches maybe we should walk outside the doors of our churches and take Jesus love to them.

Faith - But In What?

2009-10-27T20:39:00.006-05:00

I was about to pray with someone recently about an important issue in their life. They said something that didn't sit well with me. After their request they assured me if we would just have enough faith that our prayer would be answered the way they wanted.

Once upon a time that statement wouldn't have bothered me. I actually would have agreed with it. After all doesn't Jesus tell us in Matthew 17:20 that faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains?

So, why don't I see it the way my friend does anymore? Well, I think the way Christian culture views faith in God is selfish. As a matter of fact it's not even really faith in God.

Let's take a closer look at this "if we just have enough faith" idea. First, Jesus said if we have faith the size of a mustard seed we can move mountains. Think about that. Jesus intentionally used something to represent a small amount of faith, and he said even that tiny bit of faith could do huge things. So, why do we always say things like "if we will just have enough faith".

We have made God into our puppet. The strings that control our 'God puppet' are comprised of our faith. If our faith is strong enough the strings are too. So we can pull them and God has no choice but to do what we want and our prayers are answered. If on the other hand our faith is not strong enough our strings become brittle. When we pull them they break and God doesn't move like we want him to move. Our prayers don't get answered.

How many times have you prayed for something that didn't happen? Well, if all you needed was faith the size of a mustard seed then your faith must have been really small indeed. Don't worry I have been there plenty of times myself.

The worst part of viewing faith this way is that it is actually not faith at all. When we attempt to manipulate God into doing what we want 'by faith' all we have done is shown that we believe in our selves more than him because we are trying to tell him what to do. The faith we show with that kind of belief is not in God, but in our own understanding.

Look at the way Jesus prayed. In the Lord's prayer he said "your will be done". Before going to the cross he made it clear that he wanted there to be a way to get out of what was coming. Even though that is what he wanted he quickly added "not my will, but yours". In other words Jesus prayers were never about manipulating God into doing what he wanted him to do. They were about surrender to God. They were about understanding that God's will was more important. He had faith in God. His faith was so strong that he believed he should pray for God's will to be done even if it didn't agree with his desires.

That is faith. It's believing that even when things don't go our way that God is still in it. It's about putting our personal desires secondary. It's about wanting God's will more than our own. It's about believing his will is the best course even when we don't understand or even when things sometimes hurt. It's about swallowing our pride when things don't seem fair because we trust God. It's about realizing that God is not a puppet manipulated by our awesome faith.

If we can learn to have that kind of faith we might find that we have moved mountains. We might even find that the first mountains that move are our own pride and selfishness.

Just for fun here's Matthew 17:20 retranslated to fit the way it is believed by much of Christian culture today.
"You didn't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could manipulate God into doing anything you want him to do because God is merely your puppet when you have enough faith." - Matthew 17:20

- The Lead Heretic

Nobel Dream

2009-10-15T20:40:00.004-05:00

In a move that was as welcome as it was shocking the Nobel Peace Prize committee has made it's announcement this year. The award goes to the Christian church worldwide. Yes, it sounds strange to say.

No one could have seen this coming just a few short years ago, but that was before everything began to change. Who initiated this change is unclear, but the results have been overwhelming. What is this change? Read on.

It all started with a few Christians here and there who decided to buck tradition. They were no longer content with a Christianity centered on a building with all it's various activities and programs. They said they wanted to 'be the church' instead of just 'going to church'. Some remained in their churches while others stopped attending a brick and mortar church completely. Regardless of where or if they attended church the building itself was no longer the defining part of their belief.

At first their fellow Christians wouldn't accept these radicals. They were labeled as heretics. Yet they were undeterred. These revolutionaries simply continued to go about their daily lives showing God to those around them by their actions and words. Some started programs feeding the hungry. There were others that built shelters for the homeless. There is no end to the ways that these new Christians have found to show the compassion they say comes from following God. No matter what form it takes one thing remains clear. Their love for God results in a love for those around them. This love has changed hearts and lives. The number of Christians has exploded. New Christians are becoming disciples of those who showed them God and in turn showing him to others.

Christian was once a phrase that brought to mind a group of people who isolated themselves from the culture around them. They had their own music, their own clothes, their own movies, and their own everything. These days Christians have embraced the world around them with a love and compassion unseen before. I heard one of them say they were "in the world, but not of it". This reporter isn't sure what that means, but it seems appropriate.

Christians were also noted for their isolation even from other Christians based on differing theological positions. Recently though you find Christians have put aside their differences to focus on the things they have in common. Now that they have quit focusing on themselves (and each other) their focus has done what Christians have claimed they wanted to do for generations. They have truly started to reach their communities and the world for God.

Not that long ago it would have been inconceivable to give this award to the Christian church. Today it is not only conceivable, but well deserved.

* Wouldn't you just love to see this article some day?

- The Lead Heretic

Grace

2009-10-08T19:43:00.000-05:00

Just a great quote about grace from Paul Tillich.

Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades . . . Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into your darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: "You are accepted. You are accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know" . . . Simply accept that you are accepted! If that happens, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before. But everything is transformed . . . and nothing is demanded of this experience, no religious or moral or intellectual presupposition, nothing but acceptance.

God's House?

2009-10-03T16:18:00.003-05:00

Just over a month ago Jim Smith had walked out from his job for the last time. Finally retired he looked forward to finally having the time to do all the little repairs and changes around the house that he had been aiming to do for years.

He found he could complete these tasks rather quickly when he didn't have to spend 8 to 10 hours a day at work. After the first month all the tasks were done and he found himself trying to create things to do. It only took a couple of days doing meaningless tasks to get rather bored of working just to work.

Desperate for something meaningful to do Jim set up a meeting with his pastor. When the pastor asked Jim his reason for coming Jim explained his boredom and asked the pastor if he had any recommendations. Knowing that Jim was a jack of all trades the pastor immediately suggested that Jim use his talents to do some things around the church.

Anxious for something to do Jim jumped at the opportunity. Starting that very day Jim spent lots of hours at the church. He cleaned. He painted. He fixed things. He built things. Anything that needed to be done at the church Jim was the man.

Nearly every Sunday morning Jims' work was mentioned from the pulpit in some way. Everyone that was part of the church from the staff to the congregation looked at Jim as a model Christian. Jim's Sunday mornings were filled with pats on the back and expressions of thanks for all the work he did around the church.

One night Jim received a knock at his door. He answered to find a woman that lived a few houses down from him. He had seen her several times and waved at her in passing, but didn't really know her. She asked him if he knew anything about repairing leaky pipes. Jim agreed to take a look. Upon inspection the problem was easily fixable. It would just require an hour or two of work.

While working on the problem Jim found that his neighbors name was Jane. She was a single mother barely scraping by on her meager income. As Jim looked around the kitchen he saw several things in need of minor repair. During a break to go the bathroom Jim noticed the whole house was that way. There were little things all around the house that needed to be done.

For the next couple of weeks Jim would leave a little earlier than normal from his work around the church and head to Janes house. Before long Janes house was as good as new. Jim felt really good about being able to help Jane. When Jane realized that Jim had fixed everything she could think of wrong with her house she thanked him profusely and asked how she could repay him. Jim explained he didn't want her to repay him. He had done everything because he wanted to do so. He explained that as a follower of Jesus it was his pleasure to be able to help her.

Jim left that night without knowing the effect his actions and words had on Jane. Starting that very night Jane pulled a Bible from her bookshelf that she had not even thought about in years. She began to read. As she read she also prayed. She prayed that she could find God in the way she saw him in Jim.

It wasn't long before word got around of what Jim had done for Jane. He started to receive lots of request for help from people in situations similar to hers. Eventually Jim found out that not only was Jane now a follower of Christ, but she was reading the Bible and praying with her son every day. Jim found that God was somehow using him through his willingness to help others. Jane and her son were far from the last to have been affected by Jims servant heart.

As Jim began to spend more and more time helping those in need he began to spend less and less time doing things for the church. He didnt' stop doing things for the church completely, but he did far less than before.

The pastor noticed almost immediately that Jim wasn't spending as much time working around the church, but didn't say anything right away thinking perhaps Jim was wearing himself out by doing too much. However, after a few weeks the pastor called and asked Jim to meet with him.

The pastor asked Jim if there was a reason he was spending so little time working at the church the last few weeks. Jim excitedly told the pastor of all the work he had been doing helping out those in need.

Jim would never forget the words his pastor spoke to him in response.

"Jim, it's great that your helping those in need. I applaud you for it, but I think you're priorities are out of order. Shouldn't working here in God's house come before working in someone else's house? You were so excited to be able to do things for God a couple of months ago. What happened?"

Those words caused Jim's heart to break. Not because he felt guilty for putting other things ahead of his church, but because he realized this was no longer his church and the man he was talking to was no longer his pastor.

"Well Pastor, as far as I'm concerned the whole earth is God's house and that makes the ones I have been working in just as much God's house as this one. The people I am helping in those houses are just as much God's children as the ones in here every Sunday. I believe I'm still doing things for God. Are you telling me that God thinks the folks in here every Sunday morning are more important than the ones that aren't? You don't have to actually answer that question because the way I see it you already have. I guess I'll be leaving now. I don't think there's much else to say other than I'll be praying for ya. Have a good evening."

END

- The Lead Heretic

Bound Up In Bad Theology

2009-10-02T19:28:00.000-05:00

And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. - Matthew 16:19 (KJV)

Growing up in a charismatic denomination that was one of those verses that got us holy rollers all excited. We could bind the devil, demons, sickness, pain, and anything else we didn't like.I can't tell you how many times I heard people bind money problems and loose riches into their life or the life of others. When still very young I remember earnestly praying that God would bind every team that played against my beloved Kentucky Wildcats from winning.

We would lay hands on someone with the flu and bind the sickness. Several days later when all the symptoms disappeared we performed a 'hallelujah shuffle' because God had listened to our prayers and bound that flu. This was of course evidenced by the fact it was gone. Although the strange thing was that people who had never had anyone say a prayer binding their flu seemed to get rid of it in about the same length of time. Your not supposed to notice things like that though. To notice that was to diminish the miracle God had performed and to lack faith that God hears and answers our prayers.

Of course I remember attempting to do lots of binding and loosing, but none nearly so passionately as the prayers I prayed for my cousin, Jimmy, that was dying of multiple sclerosis. We were more than cousins. We were best friends. I prayed what had to have amounted to thousands of times 'binding' the sickness in his body. At the same time I would pray to 'loose' healing on his body. If I prayed those binding and loosing prayers that much I can only imagine how much his Mom and Dad prayed them. Jimmy himself prayed them. We all had faith that God would hear our prayers and bind the MS and loose the healing.

Jimmy got worse day after day. Finally after several months he passed away. He did so despite our belief and faith that God was going to heal him.

As I'm sure you can guess this wasn't the only time I ever saw 'binding and loosing' that didn't work. It confused me. Those words in Matthew 16:19 aren't conditional. They don't say it will only happen on some things that you bind or some things that you loose. There is no if this or if that at the end of the statement. It says whatsoever . . . will be.

Of course someone told me that when our binding and loosing prayers didn't work it was just because it wasn't God's will. At first glance this might be an acceptable answer. But if you scratch just beneath the surface it falls apart. If it's God's will to loose something it's gonna happen no matter what I pray. If it's his will to bind something it too will happen no matter what I pray. If our binding and loosing only works when it is God's will then we haven't bound or loosed anything. There is no 'whatsoever . . . will be." It's all completely out of our hands. It's totally up to God.

That leaves us with two options. The first one is that Jesus lied or was wrong. Not buying that one. So, what is option number 2? We have to take another look and ask ourselves where we are wrong. We have to try to find out what we have missed.

Where are we wrong? We didn't look deep enough. What did we miss? We missed what those words really meant. In a strictly technical sense the words binding and loosing are good interpretations. However, to a person in that culture there was a deeper understanding. This phrase refers to the laws of the Jewish people. Rabbi's would take their laws and determine when a law was applicable and when it was not. In a situation where the law was applicable you were said to be bound to the law in that situation. However, there are situations in which following one law would cause you to break a greater law. In this situation you are loosed from the lesser of the laws so that you don't break the greater.

Let's look at the law that the Sabbath was to be a day of rest for example. The Jewish people were not allowed to do anything that was considered work. One of those things was running. Yep, plain old running was considered too much exertion. That meant it was work and it was against the Sabbath laws.

What happens then if you want to go outside and play a little hoops on the Sabbath? It's good exercise so surely that was acceptable. Would not playing cause you to break some greater law? Nope, so the law was still binding. On the other hand what if you see someone down the road suddenly clutch their chest and fall to the ground? Can you run to them? Yes. Because the greater law is that you should help this person in the best way possible. In such a situation breaking a lesser law to fulfill a greater one is acceptable. In other words you are loosed from the law against running on the Sabbath in that instance.

Now I can see why the theology I learned about that verse growing up was so confusing. It was never meant to be interpreted the way it is interpreted in lots of churches today.

We were running around trying to bind and loose every spiritual and physical object under the sun. If everything I ever heard bound and loosed in my lifetime had actually happened every single person in the world would be a rich healthy Christian living in the one world nation of Christopia. Funny thing is what we should have been binding was our bad theology and loosing a new theology that wasn't so full of our own selfish motives.

For another great explanation of this go to tishrei's blog "Fruit of the Word" and read her post entitled "Binding and Loosing in Matthew 16:19".

Stunted Growth

2009-09-29T17:01:00.008-05:00

Growing up in church we constantly referred to ourselves as a family. I suppose there is a lot of truth to that. Just like in any type of family there is going to be some dysfunction. As imperfect humans we bring it with us. There's no shame in having dysfunction. The shame comes in that we won't even admit to it, much less try to fix it. Read the following story about the fictional Jones family and see if you can draw any parallels to the overwhelming percentage of our church families.

Everyone took their hiding places in preparation to surprise Samuel Jones for his 45th birthday. All his family and . . . . well, just his family was there for the party. The Jones family was a very exclusive bunch both by their own choice and the choice of anyone who ever had to be around them.

A couple of minutes later Samuel walked down the steps from his bedroom upstairs in his parents home. The whole family waited until he got to the foot of the steps and yelled "Surprise!". It worked. Samuel was most definitely surprised. So surprised in fact that Samuel peed in his diaper.

"Thank you", Samuel exclaimed, "Hey Mom, can you please change my diaper?"

"Sure honey", Mama Jones replied, "Just go get me the diaper and the wipes."

While Samuel was getting his diaper changed all of his siblings patiently waited in line to have theirs changed too.

"OK kids, your all over 30 years old now. You know where your diapers are, you need to go get me a fresh diaper if you want to be changed. One day a long time from now I'll potty train each of you. But your still way too young."

After all the diapers were changed Samuel excitedly asked Mama what flavor his birthday cake puree was this year.

"I know chocolate and peanut butter is your favorite so I baked a chocolate cake and put peanut butter icing on it before I pureed it for you." Mama proudly told him

"Mama do you think maybe I could try a real piece of cake this year? I'd like to try something solid." Samuel asked with great trepidation.

"Heavens no Samuel. Your not big enough for that yet." Mama scolded.

Elizabeth looked at Mama with pleading eyes and asked, "Mama am I old enough to try some of the birthday cake puree this year."

"No sweetheart, Mama will let you know when you are ready. Your only 31 years old. Mama has a nice bottle of milk warming for you on the stove."

Jonathan, the oldest of the Jones children spoke up next. "Mama, I've been thinking about moving out and living life on my own."

Daddy Jones spoke up this time. Daddy's voice carried an ominous tone as he said, "Jonathan, you can never move out. You have to be here. You will never be mature enough for that. Don't you get it yet? You would never be able to make it without our guidance. What would you do if we weren't here to tell you how to believe and want to think. Do you realize that you would become evil and wind up eternally miserable."

"Time for bed kids. All of you get up to your rooms and get ready. Mama will be up to tuck you in a few minutes."

END

What an outrageous little story, right? Definitely dysfunctional. The thing is this analogy is fairly accurate as it pertains to our churches. The dysfunction is happily accepted by both the leadership and the congregation.

Leadership is not truly interested in making mature disciples most of the time. They want their congregants to remain dependent upon them for the 'nourishment' they provide. Unfortunately, most of the time that nourishment never becomes anything solid. We continue to receive the spiritual equivalent of milk and baby food our whole lives.

The congregation is content to stay Christian toddlers having their spiritual Mama and Daddy tell them what to think, how to believe, and how to live. Takes all the responsibility off their shoulders.

What do you think?

Reality or Bust

2009-09-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

I never knew each persons' reality was such a fragile thing.
Easily destroyed with the butterfly effect of a flapping wing.

Broken and shattered into thousands of tiny pieces all around.
Try to put them back together and they are not to be found.

Life as it has always been has disappeared, it's gone forever.
Security ripped away, no longer anchored. Cut from the tether.

The whole world changes. It no longer feels like the same place.
Look in the mirror, everythings different even with the same face.

Have to build a new reality. Each step filled with utter frustration.
Fighting not to put up walls of protective self imposed isolation.

Theres no manual to read. No class to take entitled Reality 101.
Not knowing how long or far to push. Is the task ever done?

Have to be willing to lean on the wisdom and grace of Father.
Otherwise there would simply would be no reason to even bother.

Putting complete faith in the one that is still worthy of trust.
Asking Father for help to reach my destination. Reality or bust.

Raindrops and New Beginnings

2009-09-27T16:09:00.000-05:00

The raindrops splatter against my windshield in an angry cacophony of mini explosions. Each one angry that its' journey must come to an end. At least that how it seems to me right now, but maybe that's because I'm angry. Not just angry, but bitter, lonely, and scared.

That's how my life seems right now. It's as if my life has fractured into thousands of little 'raindrops' and each one is free falling to it's own end with an angry mini explosion. The last of those drops is about to fall. I will no longer be angry, bitter, or scared for tonight a bottle of pills will see to it that final drop falls and ends in one last angry explosion that will finally release me from all the pain and misery.

I grab the pen and paper I have brought with me so I can write a goodbye note to my family to tell them I love them, but explaining how miserable I am. However, no words seem appropriate. How should I tell my wife and children that I don't consider my life worth living? I'm thinking, debating if maybe it would be best to not leave a note.

As I sit thinking I notice that as each drop of rain hits the windshield it isn't very long before the windshield wiper brushes it aside as if it was never there. I wonder if that's what will happen with me. After the last drop of my existence finally splatters against the windshield of life will it be long before I'm brushed aside as if I was never there? I can't seem to figure out what to tell my family, so it's time to create that last cloudburst of my life. I've got the bottle and I'm opening it.

"GOD, IF YOUR REAL THIS WOULD BE THE TIME TO LET ME KNOW!"

The voice is mine. Yet, somehow I'm startled. I didn't expect that. Those words came out with all the harsh anger and exquisite pain I am feeling. Of course nothing is happening. God isn't speaking to me. Heaven hasn't opened with a beam of light shining directly on me.

So here I am with an open bottle of pills, a water bottle to wash them down and no God to care anything about me. The first handful of pills shakes out of my hand as a chill overtakes my body and causes me to tremble. It's not stopping. I keep shaking. It feels like someone is pouring cold water over my head. I look up thinking the roof of my car has somehow sprung a leak. But there's no leak, no water, I'm not actually wet.

What's happening? Somehow with each tremble little bits of my pain, bitterness, and anger are leaving me. As I finally quit trembling I begin to sob. For the first time in a long time my tears are not tears on anguish, but of happiness.

I'm staring at the windshield again as I try to regain my composure. Something different catches my eye this time. The windshield wiper may be brushing all the raindrops aside, but it also brushes them together into a single stream that flows over the side of the car. The streams of rain flow through the streets, the sewers and wherever else, but they don't cease to exist. They may flow back into a life giving river or ocean. They may evaporate and help form another cloud only to start the process of falling to earth all over again, but I see now that even though that original cloud may have come apart in the form of raindrops it wasn't the end. It was just a new beginning.

The raindrops splatter against my windshield in an exclamation of joy. Each one thrilled that it will no longer be one lonely drop of water falling by itself, but it will now get to start over as part of the stream. Maybe just like the rain I can have a new beginning. I must admit I'm a little apprehensive, but I've gotta give it a try. After all, I asked God to let me know if he was real and it seems to me he did.

* This story is based on a real life experience. As it is a story I did take a little artistic license, but the fact is I was once depressed to the point of suicide. In my moment of desperation God answered the call of a very angry man.

- The Lead Heretic

The Importance of Questions and Doubt

2009-09-25T20:06:00.000-05:00

How does one start down this path? What made me become the type person that willingly and happily refers to them self as a heretic? I can't speak for anyone else, for me though there were numerous events. But it all started with one person who taught me that it was ok to ask questions.

That person was Bonnie, and to be honest she herself might be horrified to find what I did with the things she taught me. Bonnie and I worked together every day. She was several years older than me. Not necessarily old enough to be my mother, but not far from it. At the time I was delighted to find that Bonnie was a Christian. I was even delighted to find that she was Baptist. Why was I happy that she was Baptist? Not because I was also. Far from it. I came from an Assemblies of God (AoG) background. I couldn't wait to introduce Bonnie to the wonders of all those spiritual gifts that we Pentecostals had all figured out.

Much to my chagrin Bonnie shot me down at every attempt to introduce her to the powerful 'manifestations of the spirit' that I kept trying to push on her. Looking back now she had lots of patience, and showed kindness that I probably didn't deserve considering how arrogant I must have sounded. When I finally realized Bonnie had no interest in becoming part of the AoG I asked her why. She told me that she simply didn't believe those things the way I did. It was the very next sentence that started this ball rolling though. She said she was OK with that. She could live with the fact that she could possibly be wrong.

From my background that simply didn't compute. In the AoG we never overtly claimed our superiority. We never brazenly called out the 'less spiritual' denominations, but the undertone was always there. The attitude that says we know more than they do. God has blessed us with more. We are stronger Christians because we believe and do these other things. We may have never really said we were better, but there is no denying we thought it. I can give you a couple of great examples in another post someday. In other words we were right and we 'knew' it. We needed to be right. It was important to believe we had it right and they didn't.

The next day Bonnie asked me a question. She asked me if I had ever really studied the things I claimed to believe. I told her I had, but she pushed a little further. She explained that she wasn't talking about listening to the pastor or some other member of my church/denomination tell me what certain passages meant or how they should be interpreted. She wanted to know if I had ever studied them myself without my denominational glasses tinting my view. At first I was a little angry by her line of questioning. I thought she was trying to debunk what I believed and bring me over the Baptist side of the aisle. Yes, I can see now how ironic it was that I got upset with her because I thought she was doing exactly what I had already done. Bonnie could see my irritation and backed off.

Even though Bonnie may have backed off, she had given me something to think about. The more I thought about what she said the more I realized I had never truly studied the Bible without a preconceived notion of what it was going to say. That notion of course came from my denominational background. The thought began to both intrigue and scare me. I finally talked to Bonnie about it again. I was careful to tell her that I was not going to become a Baptist, but I wanted to try to look at things on my own.

Bonnie pulled out a pamphlet from the AoG. She explained that she had a good friend who was part of the AoG and she had borrowed it from her. The pamphlet was the 16 fundamental truths of my denomination. These were the 16 most important beliefs. These were considered immutable truths. If you didn't believe these things you weren't truly part of the denomination. I had never looked at them for any reason other than to affirm them before. To question them was to invite derision and scorn. To doubt them was to have your Christianity called into question. Looking back now I realize Bonnie knew that was the case. So she explained right off the bat that she was not trying to get me to change my mind about any one of these 'sacred' doctrines of my upbringing. She did however want to show me how we could both read the same passages and come away with logical but distinctly different beliefs.

It didn't take long for me to understand what she was saying. She showed me there were several instances in the pamphlet distributed by the AoG itself that had statements such as "we can assume" or "it is likely that". Their were several other similar statements, but the bottom line is that by their own words much of what I had been taught as specific fact all my life was based on no small amount of conjecture. As a matter of fact there was one belief that was based upon an admitted assumption that itself was based upon another assumption.

Do you see where I am going with this? As much as I didn't want to admit it I knew something instantly. I could see where the AoG came up with their beliefs, but I could also see where the verses in question could easily be interpreted in other ways that would make just as much sense.

To be fair Bonnie even pulled out some of the beliefs from her church and showed me where some of them were just as much conjecture and supposition as mine.

I was shaken. My Christian foundation was centered on the AoG because I had always been led to believe they had it right. Now I had to admit that different interpretations of the Bible were possible by people who were both earnestly and sincerely seeking God. Not only that, but I could no longer sit idly by while those of my denomination gloated among themselves about how our beliefs made us stronger and better Christians.

That wasn't the only thing I learned from Bonnie, but it was by far the biggest lesson she taught me. I am grateful for her influence. Because of Bonnie I am no longer scared to admit that sometimes I simply have doubts. I can openly and honestly admit that I may not have it all right and I'm ok with that. I am no longer scared to admit that I have questions or to ask them. As a matter of fact I have learned that sometimes the questions really are more important than the answers.

For the record I never did become a Baptist, but it was just a few short months after this that I was no longer part of the AoG either.

- The Lead Heretic

Meet the Lead Heretic

2009-09-25T16:09:00.003-05:00

If you haven't already guessed from the title of my blog I'm not a traditional follower of Christ. Not any more at least. As a matter of fact I don't even call myself a Christian these days. When people ask me if I'm a Christian. I generally tell them I'm a 'Heretic in Gods' service'. Yeah, that's where the name of the blog comes from. As for why I don't like to be called a Christian, well that's a whole post unto itself. One I intend to do very soon.

I know there are some who will read those words, Heretic in Gods' service, and think them to be an oxymoron. Not all that long ago I would have thought the same thing. I spent over three decades as a devoted part of the accepted organized Christian religion.

For a little further clarification here are the definitions of the word heretic from 'Dictionary.com'.

a professed believer who maintains religious opinions contrary to those accepted by his or her church or rejects doctrines prescribed by that church.
Roman Catholic Church. a baptized Roman Catholic who willfully and persistently rejects any article of faith.
anyone who does not conform to an established attitude, doctrine, or principle.

I do profess belief in God. I absolutely maintain opinions contrary to those accepted by organized religion, as well as reject much of its' doctrine. So I guess according to definition #1 I'm a heretic.

I am not, nor have I ever been Roman Catholic, but I do willfully and persistently reject certain articles of faith from any denomination be it Roman Catholic, Methodist, Baptist, or any other. So I would guess I am also a heretic according to definition #2.

If your reading this it's obvious definition #3 is who I am. So again we have a fit. As a matter of fact the whole thing of "established attitude, doctrine, or principle" makes me nauseous. More explanation of that at a later date.

There you have it. I could try to argue that I'm not a heretic, but what's the point. Instead I have decided to embrace it. I've found it opens doors to talk to people who would run scared from a traditional Christian.

I hope there are some who will stumble across this blog that will find encouragement and strength because they are going through something similar. I hope there are those who just find it amusing. Either way I invite you to check things out here occasionally. I will blog about the events that brought me from traditional Christianity to heretical follower of Christ, and we'll discuss it along the way.

- The Lead Heretic